Jessica Lowndes and John Lovitz Are Dating, Please Enjoy Your Confusion

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Jessica Lowndes Jon Lovitz March 2016

(Photo: Twitter)

Today in weird celebrity couple news, no like really weird, really really really weird, Jessica Lowndes and Jon Lovitz appear to be dating. Jessica, 27, is the former star of the CW's 90210 reboot, as well as more than one Lifetime movie in which she plays a seductive psycho. Jon, 58, is of course a former SNL cast member and actor. Jon revealed their apparent relationship on Twitter Easter Sunday, calling Jessica “my bunny.”

What makes this supposed relationship so weird isn't only the fact that these two seem like they were random people drawn out of a hat of celebrity names, but also the social media posts leading up to the reveal. Over the past few days Jessica has been teasing a new man in her life on Instagram, and the posts have been mind-boggling.

In addition to showing off flowers she received and hinting that she has a “BIG secret,” Jessica also shared a “Thai proverb” that reads, “Old cows like to eat young grass.” Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I should have warned you that you would probably throw up in your mouth upon reading that. That was my bad. But it only got weirder from there.

Jessica shared this photo of an older man's hand touching her leg and wrote, “His hands are wise and tell a thousand stories…” I wish I was kidding.

Jessica Lowndes new man 2016

(Photo: Instagram)

She also posted a photo of two bowls of ice cream and wrote, “You say sugar daddy but I say ice cream daddy!” Oh yeah, this is happening, people. Things seemed to be getting serious when she shared a photo of what appears to be an engagement ring, without a caption to explain it.

Jessica Lowndes ring 2016

(Photo: Instagram)

Then there was the video apparently taken by her mystery man of her waking up in the morning. In the caption, she used the hashtag #MrBig and called him #TooOldToUseHashtags.

Soooo… this is totally an April Fools' joke, right? I mean, it's only a few days away. Maybe they're planning to reveal it was all a prank on April 1st. Otherwise I simply have no way to explain this, other than maybe them wanting to share monogrammed towels because they have the same initials.