Jesse James Attempts To Stay Relevant By Professing His Love Of Guns And Poor Grammar

By  | 

Jesse James

In direct opposition to the majority of Hollywood, Jesse James decided to profess his loyalty to the NRA via his Facebook page this week.  Either he timed this up perfectly in response to the impressive, celebrity-laden PSA regarding gun control, or he thinks it's Opposite Day.  Since this is Jesse James we're talking about here, and I'm pretty sure he's not an astro-physicist, I wouldn't hesitate to guess it's the latter.

He described regular instances of streets closed being off in parts of California with yellow police tape because someone had been shot dead.

“Since the 1980's California has led the nation with the strictest gun control laws. In the middle of this state I have seen more dead bodies than I can count.

On a weekly basis Cop friends would always check in to make sure I was carying (sic) a gun at all times. They would want to see it to make sure. They would tell me “You better be packing.”

While my first instinct is to remind Jesse that “cop” isn't a proper noun, I will take off my Grammar Police cap for a moment because I don't have time to dissect everything that is wrong with that sentence.  The bigger picture here is that he's one of those people who thinks arming everyone with guns is the solution to gun violence. Because there are so many sensible, reasonable people in this world, we should let them have an all-access pass to rifles and assault weapons!

James went on to state that he doesn't think the country needs fewer guns, we need fewer gun laws!  Why yes, of course!  According to his logic, he claims California's strict gun laws are the reason that so many people have been shot and killed.  Now, where should one move if one wanted to feel safer?  Texas!

“I have not seen one dead body, have not experienced any drive-by shootings.  I can now relax, and live life in this free country.”

Obviously we should listen to Jesse James, because any guy who rocks a receding slick-back and whose penis tastes range from Sandra Bullock to Kat Von D to anything with a little ink and a lotta vagina is someone you should trust.

(Photo: West Coast Choppers)