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‘Jersey Shore’: Is Ronnie’s Steroid Abuse The 200-Pound Juiced-Up Gorilla In The Room?

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In case there was any lingering doubt about Ronnie from Jersey Shore‘s steroid abuse, last night's “explosive” episode destroyed all speculation. Destroyed it almost as quickly as Ronnie destroyed his and Sammi‘s room, smashing every piece furniture to pulp, throwing her bed out the window, and only halfway breaking her glasses. Sammi's glasses, y'all! What did she ever do to deserve this? She's had enough, and she means it this time! Bye-bye Sammi! But let's back up a bit first…

Ronnie's proctology exam over and done with, the inexplicably least interesting couple on television go back to doing what they do best: fighting, crying, and getting really close to hitting each other in the head. Seriously, how are these people so boring when they have so many characteristics that usually make for great television? Maybe it's because, unlike Heidi and Spencer, they aren't actually malevolent forces, just annoying ones. When The Situation apologized to Ronnie last night to avoid getting pummeled in the head, Ronnie quickly forgives him and they hug it out. Sammi, while fake as balls, accepts the help from the oompa-loompa forces of Deena and Snooki after Ronnie demands she gets out of his room.

So they're not evil or interesting enough to stay on the program. Or at least, Sammi's not. When the decision was made to pack it in and go home, you know the producers were encouraging Sammi to leave more than actually getting the volatile 200-pound juiced up gorilla out of the house. Why? Because Ronnie is actually dangerous. He's a good guy, but as we found out last night, sometimes his Hulk-side can take over and his steroid-shrunk testicles compel him to vaporize anything in his path. And for someone that we've grown to marginally like (His laugh! His tears!), watching Ronnie break down is fascinating the way Intervention is fascinating. Or that after-school special about steroids starring Ben Affleck.

If The Situation is too scared to stand up to Ronnie, you know Pauly D. and Vinny won't. The girls won't. No one is going to say “boo” to this kid, and just like Kristin Cavallari‘s undisclosed but omnipresent drug habit on The Hills last season, the network will actively enable their disintegrating stars by never having the problem mentioned. We just hope the producers stop him before his problem turns him into a monster that inadvertently crushes Snooki during his next bout of roid rage.

In the meantime, we'll just wait, holding our breath, to see where Ronnie goes next. As Sitch says as Ronnie is throwing Sammi's bed frame out the window, “Part of me was like ‘Come on man, give it a break' and part of me was like ‘Man, just let him go.'”

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