Every ’90s Kid Understands Why Jennifer Lawrence Stalked John Stamos

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Jennifer Lawrence Stalking John Stamos

How does Jennifer Lawrence continue to ace every single interview she does? Is it witchcraft? It could be, right? I mean, I don't watch Hocus Pocus in the off season for fun. I would by lying if I didn't admit that it's a pretty strong diagnositcal tool when it comes to detecting black magic on late night TV shows. So I'm just throwing it out there. If someone flying around on a broom happens to catch it, so be it.

Anyways, Jennifer Lawrence went on Conan last night to presumably talk about the 2013 Academy Awards and Silver Linings Playbook. But because she's J.Law, the convo quickly turned into a story about how she once stalked John Stamos at a party. Conan was all like, “really, her?” As if it's surprising that someone would want to stalk John Stamos.

But tell you what Conan, us kids of the '90s kinda love John Stamos. He's the cool bug-exterminatin' music-playin' uncle who lived in our attic that we never had. Now, I will say that my uncle, like Uncle Jesse, also suffered from a rare case of only-famous-in-Japanitis. But he didn't marry my father's co-worker and then reproduce on some kind of murphy bed in my attic. So he's nowhere near as cool. I completely understand why J.Law lost her shit around him.

Joey, on the hand, I'd avoid. No one wants a failed stand-up comic living in their basement. Sorry I'm not sorry that he always made me slightly uncomfortable. Hey Danny! If there's a grown man living in your basement who regularly talks to a puppet on his hand, there's a problem in your basement.