If There Is A God, Jennifer Aniston And Brangelina Will Get Married On The Same Day
Details about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux‘s wedding have started to trickle out of the leaky sieve that is the internet, and I am getting pretty excited to receive my invitation in the mail. I just hope they don't use the same mailing service as Drew Barrymore did for her wedding, because that one never got to me. But until it gets here, I have the rumors to keep me company. According to a source, the wedding “will be a small affair with their closest friends”, so I'm sorry to say that you and I probably won't see each other there. I promise I'll tell you all about it after, though. Apparently Jen and Justin have already picked out the band, a small selection of dresses that Jen is still deciding among, and the date — which while it hasn't been revealed, is allegedly sometime after March 8th, after Jenn wraps her current project.
But you know who's also supposed to get married around then? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who apparently did not get married on Christmas as previously reported. Good old Brangelina…aka the Hollywood power couple over whom sad spinster Jen goes home and cries her shabby tears of loneliness, forlornly rubbing her barren, childless belly. Sorry to keep bringing that up, but I have to get really good mileage out of that old tired story, because we won't be able to use it anymore once she and Justin get married. You know what would be so great, though? If these couples both got married on the same day, in separate ceremonies. Or even a joint ceremony, if they're feeling especially indulgent of America. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't tune into that wedding, except maybe whale sharks, but only because they don't have television. In any case, I want this to all go down on one epic, A-List Day. That is how I'll know the Benevolent Goblin Of The Internet Exists, because he will have granted my first wish and made me the happiest little blogger in the whole cubicle.
(Images: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com)