If Justin Theroux Likes Jennifer Aniston So Much, Why Doesn’t He Marry Her Already?

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Jennifer Aniston and fiance Justin Theroux at NYC premiere of his HBO show The Leftovers June 2014Once upon a time, long ago, Justin Theroux proposed to Jennifer Aniston…and then we never heard another thing about it, ever again.

In case your memory for celebrity milestones isn't quite as honed as mine, let me remind you — Justin and Jennifer were first seen together in May 2011, and got engaged a little over a year later, in August 2012. Trumpets sounded, papers were drawn up for a retaliatory Brangelina adoption, and then…nothing. For almost two years! Not that people who are engaged need to get married right away, but it definitely catches my attention when a couple has been engaged for twice the time that they were just dating, y'know?

And especially because Jennifer has amassed such a collection of adjectives over the years — lonely, barren, scorned, etc. — I would've expected her to at least speak about wedding plans to the media, even if she didn't want to rush into it. After years of breathless ‘will she ever find happiness????' coverage, my normal-person assumption was that it'd probably feel great to answer that question with a resounding ‘yes. duh.'.

But it was still pretty much crickets at the premiere of Justin's upcoming HBO show ‘The Leftovers', which coincidentally was Justin and Jennifer's first red carpet appearance together in around nine months. VERY LOUD CRICKETS. And they only got louder when Justin was asked what he'd want to bring to the afterlife. (His show is about the people left behind after an event that's basically the Rapture.)

“My cell phone. No, my keys.”

Obviously he's kidding, but even his follow-up changing his answer to Jennifer is oddly-phrased:

“That's who I'd want to bring back. That's who I'd want to bring with me.”

Weeeeird, right? Especially because the title of the article that that quote appeared in was ‘Justin Theroux Would Like to Bring Jennifer Aniston to the Afterlife‘.

…just not…to the altar, I guess? I don't get it.

(Photo: Ivan Nikolov / WENN.com)