Jennifer Aniston And Justin Theroux Did Not Get Married Yesterday, So Relax Everyone

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Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux 2013

There was endless media speculation this week about the possible nuptials of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux yesterday.  Somehow every radio DJ knew every celebrity on the guest list and made assumptions that so many A-listers wouldn't show up to a regular ol' birthday bash for Justin–and since celebrities have a tendency to throw surprise weddings to throw the radio DJs off–but to no avail.  There are actual helicopter photos to that show, if you look very closely, you can see an ant-sized Toby Maguire eating a cob of corn delicately.

Radar Online reports that the “birthday boy” and his fiance were casually dressed in jeans and mom-shorts, respectively.  This juicy little item just reinstates that I have long since given up on caring about Jennifer Aniston's personal life.  Like, completely let go of any microscopic interest I may have ever had.  Ever.  It's gone.

Even if news breaks and we find out that Jen and Justin totally did get married in picnic attire, I'm still pretty sure my reaction would be nothing more than a couple of blinks.  Because yesterday marked “one year exactly” since Jen and Justin became engaged, I totally get why media outlets went ape shit over finding out about the birthday party.  And every other minor tidbit of news surrounding Jennifer Aniston. Though I'm pretty sure that's how Jennifer Lopez handled one of her four marriages, no?  Tricking guests?  And so did Sandra Bullock, if I'm not mistaken.  Well let it be known that if I ever receive an invite to an A-list party with lots and lots of guests at the home of another A-lister in a serious relationship, I will be on guard!

(And also probably on the TMZ's payroll for some sneaky iPhone photography.)

(Photo: WENN)