Jay-Z And Beyonce Might Be Lying About Their Ages, Because Admitting They’re Immortal Would Be Awkward

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Jay-Z and Beyonce London March 2014

Get out your conspiracy theorist notebooks and flip to the section on Beyonce and Jay-Z, because there are some new developments to mark down. You know how they claim to be 32 and 44, respectively? According to rumors, those numbers might not be totally accurate. We've already seen claims that Beyonce's been fibbing about how old she is, and now Jay-Z might be as well, according to radio host Troi Torain. And it totally makes sense, because if you were an immortal deity sent to Earth to entertain lowly humans, you'd sort of have to lie about your age, wouldn't you?

Okay, so Troi Torain doesn't say that Jay-Z is actually infinity years old, but he does say that he's 50… which is six years older than he claims to be, and eighteen years older than Beyonce claims to be. But of course if the rumors about Beyonce's age are true, their age gap wouldn't really be as big. The radio host claimed on his show Star: Live and Direct that he and Jay are actually the same age: “I will be 50 on May 3. He's 43, 42… that's just media bull****!”

If Jay-Z really is 50, I'm gonna need him to refer me to whatever Illuminati dermatologist he goes to, because he looks fantastic. Speaking of looking fantastic, how old is Beyonce rumored to be, do you ask? It's been different over the years, but this past December it was rumored to be 35, because it was revealed that a Good Morning America host who's that age had gone to high school with her. There's also a theory that Beyonce is Solange's mother and not her sister, if you want to go really deep into WTFtown.

What do you say we just let these rumors go and accept that God and her husband have to tell a little white lie now and then? Whether that lie is about how old they are or who gave birth to our savior Blue Ivy is irrelevant. Just stop questioning and bow down, bitches.

(Photo: WENN.com)