The Trailer For On The Run Will Leave You More Curious About Jay-Z And Beyonce Than Ever

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Let's all start a slow clap going to the Carter-Knowles public relations team for their excellent sense of timing, shall we?  After one crazy week in celebrity gossip history following the Solange/Beyonce/Jay-Z elevator brawl, and a generic statement issued a few days after the “scandal” broke, all attention will now be diverted and fixated upon the trailer for On The Run, promoting Jay-Z- and Beyonce's upcoming tour.

Oh, you've never heard of anyone releasing an actual full-length movie trailer full of A-list stars to promote a concert tour before?  Ugh, you're so basic.  *Of course* these two released a jam-packed, impressive FILM TRAILER full of guns, glory, money, Sean Penn, Jake Gyllenhaal, Blake Lively, Emmy Rossum, and Guillermo Diaz (you know him as Huck from Scandal, I prefer to remember him as Guillermo from Weeds).  Seriously, you need to check this shit out.  I'd love to know how many people Tweeted the word “cray” and “fierce” in reference to this today:

That's right, it's rated “R” for “Rocnation” and it's COMING NEVER, fools! While I personally don't find guns to be sexually attractive, I can clearly see this duo is still really pushing the “Bonnie and Clyde” theme. This trailer is, unfortunately, Solange-less but Rashida Jones has a cameo as some sort of comical hooker, so that helps. This trailer release leave me with so many unanswered questions: Is Sean Penn some sort of Goodfella?  Does Jay-Z really speak that softly and tenderly in real life? Who deemed Blake Lively interesting enough to be believable friends with Beyonce? Good God, is Justin Bieber going to try to top this?  Omg.

(GIF: Tumblr)