Jada Pinkett Either Hates Or Loves Beyonce’s Body, Not Sure Which

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Jada Pinkett at The Sound Of Change Live concert in London June 2013I'm not one to throw my money around willy-nilly, but I will give you one hundred dollars if you can make heads or tails of this nonsense rant that Jada Pinkett-Smith went on about Beyonce‘s body and the raw sexuality and power inherent within said body. I'm typically pretty good at de-garbling celebrity ravings, but in this case I honestly can't even tell what Jada is getting at. She seems to be discussing some recent kerfuffle over Beyonce's costumes for her Mrs. Carter Tour, and if I was really pressed, I'd say she's a fan of Queen Bey, but that is where my comprehension of her argument fails utterly.

I'm guessing maybe Jada maybe heard tell of how much I've been enjoying the gibberish that the rest of her family has been spewing lately — from Jaden‘s desire to get emancipated never ever move out of his parents' house to Will‘s impromptu rapping on The Late Show — that she wanted to get on board herself. And what better way than by confusing me totally with the following rant from her Facebook page:

“There was some backlash about the performance outfits for the Chime concert. Since a woman’s body has been deeply connected to sin, it’s easy to forget all the power and beauty her body and sexuality possesses. Yes, with this power comes great responsibility, but how was Beyonce’s tasteful outfit irresponsible? Here is the problem I see, a woman’s body is too much power for one woman to have, even Beyonce. Although we see corporations exploit this power through women and girls, with far less clothing on than Beyonce, to sell their products, do we protest? But hey, a woman has to be in check, right? Know her position since we’ve all been taught that a powerful woman is dangerous and that a powerful man makes the world go round. Here’s the deal… soon the reign of shame on a woman’s body and her control of it will end. She will be autonomous. For she can’t truly be free without it. And oh boy…what a different world this place will be…when she is free.”

Okay, right, but what? BUT WHAT. My crack detective instincts lead me to believe you're pushing for Beyonce in this situation, but your phrasing is VERY confusing, Jadakins. “A woman's body is too much power for a woman to have, even Beyonce”? But what shall we have instead? I definitely can't pull off being a sexy ghost, if that's what we're talking about. In twenty-five years, I've barely mastered being a corporeal being, so I really don't think I should start all over from the beginning. I'm all for feminism, but living inside a human body is one convention that I'm pretty attached to.

(Image: WENN.com)