Entertainment

If This If I Stay Trailer About A Teen In A Coma Is For Serious, I Quit The Movies

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If I Stay Mia Hall Movie PosterSo earlier today I saw someone compare this If I Stay movie trailer starring Chloe Grace Moretz to The Fault In Our Stars. As someone VERY excited to see The Fault In Our Stars, I enthusiastically clicked on the link. Which, for internet beginners, means I clicked clicks 500 times rapidly in hopes that I could teleport to 2 minutes in the future and already be obsessed with the movie. I enjoy nothing more than obsessing over things that the kids like.

But guys, before you fall into the same trap as me, please know this movie looks horrible. Downright dreadful. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume this was a bad parody movie mocking YA novels. Then again, in the movie's defense, it sounds like it's sticking pretty closely to the premise of the book. Basically what happens is that Mia Hall (Chloe Grace Moretz), a very promising cellist — because of course she's a very promising cellist — gets in a  car accident with her parents. They die, mostly because parents have no purpose in YA lit. No seriously. Think of one book or movie for teenagers that gives parents more than a few lines. You can't think of any, right? Exactly my point! (As always, RIP Potters)

Mia, however, is alive. BUT BARELY! She's in a coma in the hospital. And twist, she's also an Earth Angel with the ability to walk around outside her body without being seen. So throughout the movie she just lurks around her hospital room and listens to all her loved ones beg her to come back to life. Which is like the epitome of an emo teen's messed-up fantasy life. “Wouldn't it be so cool if I could find out what everyone thought of me and in addition to that, I'd find out that they all loved me the mostest!?” I mean, I saw that in the trailer and immediately understood why this did so well with the kids. Apparently the climax of the story is when she decides whether or not she wants to stay alive. Speaking as an alive person, I personally would find it very selfish of her to listen to all these people telling her she's the best and then stay dead. But I've never been an Earth Angel, so I might want to keep my mouth shut when it comes to matters like these.