Suck It, World — Honey Boo Boo Is Better Than You

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honey boo boo fountain 161012HA. This is the best. Remember that super awkward speech that Jodie Foster gave at the Golden Globes where she scolded us for our interest in her personal life while simultaneously revealing vague, crazed details about said personal life? Where she came out but back in and halfway out and then in again and shame on you for asking her to come out because she already did and never will the first time except for right here, right now, tonight? And then I shouted ‘shut up' at my TV but she didn't, and then she said, “You guys might be surprised but I am not Honey Boo Boo Child”? Do you remember that? Well nobody puts Honey Boo Boo in a corner, and here's living proof: her show has been nominated for a GLAAD Media Award.

Yup. That's right. That same bedazzled seven-year old pageant queen who we were all making fun of a year ago (myself very snarkily included, I'm embarrassed to say) and using as a symbol for the end of the civilized world is more goddamn open-minded than a human, grown-up celebrity like Jodie Foster. And because this world is still a good one, where karma takes no notice of your Cecil B. DeMille awards or your ill-advised bob, she's getting rewarded for it. Ah, revenge is sweet. So next time you feel like implying that a child isn't making good life choices, try to bear in mind that A. SHE'S A CHILD, and B. her show has accepted and mainstreamed homosexuality in the media in ways you refused to do even for yourself.

We always knew that Alana's Uncle Poodle was gay, but especially in light of his recent bravery of coming out as HIV positive and using that revelation to encourage viewers to practice safe sex and get tested, I couldn't be more impressed with the way the family, the show, and the network are handling the situation. How much sac do you think it took for him to come out as a queer redneck, and you're not even willing to (coherently) come out as a queer Hollywood legend? Really? That's embarrassing. By all means keep your sexuality to yourself if you want, but then you can't be throwing shade on other people just because they've made different choices. They're living in love just exactly the same way that you are, only a little more openly. People with names like ‘Honey Boo Boo' and ‘Uncle Poodle' may not be the gay rights advocates you had in mind, Jodie, but at least America understands what they're saying when they open their mouths.

Bottom line, Jodie's a grown woman, and she can make her own choices. But I'm pretty thrilled that GLAAD decided to reward Here Comes Honey Boo Boofor theirs, instead.

(Image: Josiah True / WENN.com)