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Here’s Why Home Alone Is Still The Best Christmas Movie Ever Made

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keep the change ya filthy animal

It's impossible to turn on your TV this time of year without subjecting yourself to endless marathons of Christmas movies. Whether it's those creepy claymation films that give everyone nightmares or Christmas classics that everyone pretends to love, they're everywhere. But my favorite is one that some might (and often do) argue is not even a real Christmas movie, and that movie is Home Alone. 

This might require a bit of explaining, mostly because there are so many possible criticisms to make about this movie, like how every adult in the movie failed Kevin and how there's literally not one kid on the planet who would be so chill if his parents just abandoned him to go on vacation. IT WAS A VACATION. Also, we may very well find Kevin to be a murderer should we choose to look closely into his defensive tactics. But, in the spirit of Christmas, let's not and say we did. This movie is so much more than the glorious slapstick is presented to the world.

It Teaches Us About Love

I've yet to come across a storyline more heartwarming than the one about Kevin's neighbor. At first, Kevin is scared of him, because his family told him that he's a scary axe murderer, and that's why he always keeps to himself and never has family around. However, as Kevin learns when he goes into a church and sits with him on Christmas Eve, the reason his neighbor is always alone is because he had been fighting with his son, and that all he really wanted for Christmas was to make up and spend time with his granddaughter. Not only does Kevin encourage him to go call his son, we see them all together at the end of the movie. And you know? It's was all kinds of adorable and I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me tear up every time.

It Teaches Us About Family

I will concede to the fact that Kevin's parents may not be ideal. After all, what parents would actually get to their travel destination, and spend all of those hours realizing that one of their kids was missing? Didn't they have an extra ticket when they got to the airport? Also, I was a camp counselor for two years, so I know for a fact that head counts are not an effective way of ensuring everyone's presence. But the fact that his mom was willing to do anything and everything she could to get back to him, and the fact that Kevin actually did end up missing his family after fending off burglars for days despite the fact that he thought he was initially glad that they were gone, makes this movie so much sweeter in the grand scheme of things. This movie taught us that your family is awesome and perfect no matter how loud and annoying they are.

It Teaches Us About Burglary (And How To Prevent It!)

Okay, maybe I'm only saying this because I don't actually celebrate Christmas, but I'd argue that this is the most important lesson anyone can learn this holiday season. Sure, there are haters out there who say that Kevin rigging a paint pot to smack one of the burglars in the face and giving the other one third degree burns by hanging a hot iron on the door knob were just signs of a budding sociopath, but these people need to simmer down right now. I'm willing to bet that children around the world put Legos around their bed at night for weeks afterward to fend off potential burglars, and who knew Christmas ornaments had so many uses? Kevin, that's who. And now all of you. Thanks to Home Alone.

It Teaches Us To Keep The Change

There you have it, folks. Don't say I never taught you anything. Also, “Keep the change, ya filthy animal,” is the most-quoted line in my household, and I would never have seen it if not for this movie. So praise be unto Home Alone and Macaulay Culkin for all he gives us this Christmas. We'd never leave you at home on vacation.

(GIF: lovethispic)

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