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Helena Bonham Carter And Tim Burton Are Splitting Up, A Blow To Weirdos Everywhere

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STOP CLAPPING THIS IS TERRIBLE.

Guys! I have the weirdest news ever! Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton are splitting up! Is anyone else completely blindsided by this?

Because they're perfect together, right?? If they can't make it, then what hope is there for the rest of us weirdos? They've been together thirteen years without getting married, have two kids — Billy, 11, and Nell, 7, are the exact same level of quirky, and Tim has put Helena in about twenty-five thousand of his films (give or take, it's an approximation, people), so what's the problem all of a sudden? I just assumed they'd stay a couple until they were old and wrinkly and identical, and I never even bothered pondering how devastated I'd be if they broke up.

But break up they did, and now I'm stuck here feeling like the floor dropped out from under me, trying to find some meaning in the statement released by Helena's representative:

“[The couple] separated amicably earlier this year and have continued to be friends and co-parent their children. We would ask that you respect their privacy and that of their children during this time.”

Ugh WHY. I mean I know why, because relationships fall apart, but I thought this one was safe. And I also know why this information was released today even though it went down earlier this year — celebrities typically try to sneak news out as close as possible to the holiday season in hopes that it'll slip through the cracks, since so many of us media folk are off work then. Literally, Jenni and I were just discussing this yesterday, so I see you, Bonham-Carter-Burtons.

But as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, we aren't off until tomorrow. Today we're just sitting at our desks waiting for heartbreaking nuggets like this to fall into our laps. Along with our tears because WHHHYYYYYYY.

(Image: Tumblr)

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