13 Celebrities You Wouldn’t Want To Work For
Loving celebrities is really easy to do when you do it from afar. That way, you’re shielded from the terrible things about them that make them, well, just like us. Yuck, amirite?? But can you imagine being as close to them as their employee? The great American Dream —which is split in two parts, achieving capitalist success and getting a selfie with your favorite celebrity— is quickly shattered, isn’t it?
We’ve got the upcoming release of Horrible Bosses 2 to thank for this thought experiment that’s about to go down. In my mind, working for most celebrities would be a plausible plot line in that movie, partly because I’ve heard that any old thing is a plot line in that movie.
However, there are definitely levels of terribleness, as there is with anything else in life. And of course we’re going to be some Cynical Cindies and speculate which ones would be the absolute worst to work for. For fun! For science! For life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. (For one of those things.)
Anyway, here are the 13 that we’ve come up with. Feel free to let us know others you think would be horrid!
1. Matthew McConaughey
You’d be expected to keep it together and professional, while he walks around de-clothed 99% percent of the time. Also, he seems like the type of person/boss to give impromptu pep talks all of the time. So, there’s that.
2. One Direction
I imagine that the incessant fangirl screaming at the gig isn’t worth the paycheck or the annual hair-touching bonus that you receive. By the way, that’s how I imagine they reward their best employees, by letting them run their fingers through The Hair, if only for just a moment.
3. Will Smith
Only because Bring Your Kids to Work Day would be like living out your most annoying nightmare.
4. Taylor Swift
Everyone would be so busy being in love with her that you wouldn’t even get any attention on the days that you come to work naked. Other people do that weekly, too, right? Or is that… it’s just me, isn’t it?
5. James Franco
No one is more unbelievably busy than this guy, so prepare to have no life outside of James and his college papers.
6. Blake Lively
Your actual job description would be to dole out compliments each time she fishes for one. I’ve come to this conclusion because she obviously is hard up for them, which is why she accepted the role in that movie where she plays a woman who is ~plagued~ by eternal youth and beauty.
7. Kylie & Kendall Jenner
You’d be trying to get actual work done and they’d keep storming into your office to make you read things to them. Talk about a distraction!
8. Jennifer Lawrence
She’d constantly be upstaging you and then pretending like it was no big deal, anyway. Like, “Oh, I guess I climber Mount Everest yesterday in the snow storm while wearing 17-inch Lady Gaga moon boots. But I looked like such a loser goofball!”
9. Shia LaBeouf
He might fire you in the fashion of an insane person and then, several months later, claim that it was just a social experiment and wonder why you never returned to work. And it’d be like, “Mr. LaBeouf, you can’t keep doing this to me. This is the 9th time this year!”
10. Andrew Garfield
Good luck pretending that that beard is, in any way, a good look for him.
11. Katherine Heigl
Well, for one thing, you’d always be in the wrong because the rules are that Katherine never is. And someone’s got to be the scapegoat when Shonda Rhimes is on vacation.
12. Ellen DeGeneres
Or, at the very least, not around Halloween. Because Ellen’s office is Prank City and you, along with the rest of the Andys (I only know Andy’s name, so they’re all Andy to me) would be on her To-Scare list.