Happy “37th” Birthday Chelsea Handler. If That’s Even Your Real Name

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The great thing about being Chelsea Handler is that you can stay in your 30s for approximately 17-20 years. Or so it seems since Chelsea Handler's only turning 37 this year. The woman who I thought looked good for her being in her mid-40s is only “37.” It's kind of amazing. Not as amazing as her new acting career which took off and then crash landed in the cemetery of failed let-me-just-try-acting comedians. But still impressive.

For as long as Chelsea Handler's been successful, there have been rumors that she's fudging her age. That she's nowhere as young as she claims she really. Just type “Chelsea Handler lying about her age” into Google and you'll tons of results claiming it's true. However, 90% of these results are from fan forums and Yahoo Answer type sites — which means her real age is still a mystery. And if she's lying about her age, who knows what else she's lying about.

  • Does she actually drink vodka?
  • How does she really know Chuy?
  • Was she raised in New Jersey?
  • Does she have parents?
  • Did she write her own books?
  • Can she even read?
  • Was she born in America?
  • Is there anything on those cards she reads on the show?
  • How do we know Lately's not her last name and Handler's just a cover story?
  • Does she really think Laura Prepon is a good Chelsea?
  • Has she ever been to Martha's Vineyard?
  • Did her and Jennifer Aniston meet on a singles cruise?

So many questions, and luckily so much time.. Since Chelsea Handler's aging like Benjamin Button, there's plenty of time to get to the bottom of all these questions.