For The Low Price Of $200, You Too Can Drink A Moon Dust Smoothie Like Gwyneth Paltrow

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For the Low Price of  200  You Too Can Drink a Moon Dust Smoothie Like Gwyneth Paltrow Gwyneth Paltrow Stella McCartney event January 2016 jpg

Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow. What would we do without her? The latest Goop recipe that’s making headlines includes “moon dust” on the ingredient list, and before I read what that was, I genuinely believed she expected us to place an order with NASA, because the moon is like so full of antioxidants, you guys.

Turns out moon dust is a product from a company called Moon Juice that Gwyneth expects you to buy and use for a smoothie she apparently drinks every morning, “whether or not she’s detoxing.” (I believe that approximately not at all, how about you?) In addition to the everyday ingredients you already have lying around like almond milk, vanilla mushroom protein, ashwagandha and cordyceps, you can choose which type of moon dust to add based on “what the day ahead holds.”

For example, Action Dust is for when you want to “soothe overworked muscles.” Sex Dust is “for, you know.” And Spirit Dust is “to get that extrasensory perception going.” That’s right, my friends. Gwyneth Paltrow’s smoothie recipe will give you ESP. Surprisingly, you don’t have to recite any sort of incantation to activate this magic dust. You just have to throw all the ingredients in a blender. Sure, it’ll set you back more than $200, but that’s a small price to pay to become psychic.

The Daily Mail came up with the $200 figure, and of course Vanity Fair followed that up by clarifying that each smoothie you make really only costs you $10.52. To which I ask, what happens if you buy all the ingredients, make the smoothie once, and end up hating it? (Which seems very, very likely, by the way.) Then you just spent $200 on one smoothie and you have a useless jar of maca gathering dust in your kitchen.

By the way, a nutrition expert told Wired UK that he’s “rather sceptical” about this whole moon dust thing, which is a polite British way of telling Gwyneth to shut the fuck up.

(Photo: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com)