Chris Martin Gave Moses Cotton Candy, And Gwyneth Paltrow Is FINE WITH IT, OKAY?

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Chris Martin Gave Moses Cotton Candy  and Gwyneth Paltrow Is FINE WITH IT  OKAY  Chris Martin son Moses Lakers game January 2016 jpg

Last night Chris Martin took his 9-year-old son Moses to a Lakers game. As often happens when a kid goes somewhere alone with his dad, junk food was consumed that his mother might not approve of. Except Moses’ situation is a bit unique, and not just because his dad is a famous musician who got courtside seats. It’s also unique because his mother isn’t just any typical soccer mom who prefers he finish his vegetables before he gets dessert. His mom is Gwyneth Paltrow.

As you probably know, Gwyneth Paltrow is pretty health-conscious. She once boasted about how hungry her family feels without eating carbs before saying she allows her kids to drink one Coke per week — kind of like her weekly cigarette. You might be thinking the above photo would cause literal goop to seep out of Gwyneth’s ears. But in a recent interview with Yahoo, she continues her crusade to convince us she’s not who we think she is:

“We are a pretty balanced house. I mean, kids eat sugar. That’s how it goes. So we have organic snacks and we have Oreos, too, so.”

Do you think she was breathing into a paper bag when she said that?

I imagine Chris calling Gwyneth up this morning saying, “Uh, so I don’t know if you saw those photos of Moses eating the cotton candy last night,” and Gwyneth replying nonchalantly, “Oh yeah, whatever. It’s totally fine. I’m cool with it. Who cares? What’s a little sugar? Give him all the sugar you want. It doesn’t bother me. Sugar sugar sugar! Totes cool. HAHAHAHA.” But inside she would be doing this:

Chris Martin Gave Moses Cotton Candy  and Gwyneth Paltrow Is FINE WITH IT  OKAY  Gwyneth Paltrow why gif


I mean, that’s not just any old junk food. That’s cotton candy. It’s literally spun sugar. It’s like a sugar kebab. The only thing that would be more sugary is if Moses just downed an entire bag of the stuff from the baking aisle. But let’s not forget that Chris also gave the kids fries once. Was rebounding with a 20-something not enough for you, Chris?!

(H/T HuffPost, Photo: Noel Vasquez/GC Images)