Gwyneth Paltrow Forgets She’s A Stone-Cold Ice Queen, Momentarily Mom-Dances
Hear ye, hear ye! Noted fashionable iceberg Gwyneth Paltrow melted the tippy tops of her polar ice caps on New Years Eve, and busted out what can only be referred to as mom-dancing onstage at Jay-Z and Chris Martin‘s show.
I'm still not entirely clear on what was going on, or why Chris is rapping, but if you want to watch some video of Gwyneth sneaking around onstage with a glass of champagne and (in her mind) an invisibility cloak, you can watch it below.
Or if your eyes are lazy like mine and you don't want to devote another three full minutes of your life to Gwyneth and her GOOP, you can also turn your discerning eye to some GIFs, which I've sprinkled liberally throughout this post.
If you do watch the video though, I think you'll agree that the only person who looks like he legitimately belongs on that stage is Jay-Z, and even he is wearing some sort of down tuxedo jacket, so only partial points are awarded. Chris Martin is dancing like a flirty orangutan and those kids are cute, but aren't they supposed to be at the gym or on their first juice cleanse of 2013? (Isn't that what it's like to be the child of Gwyneth Paltrow? They have to be small enough to fold into a satchel, I'm sure I read that somewhere.)
Anyway, this is just me, but I love a good mom dance. It's really reassuring to know that even the frostiest blonde-ponytailed famous person turns into an awkward gangler when motherhood hits. I mean, let's be fair. I've already turned into one, and I'm nowhere near mom territory. But c'mon — aren't you best friends with Madonna? Couldn't you call her up and just get a few basic steps so you don't look like you're tipsy at a stork wedding? I would like that. But I also like this, so do your thang, gurl.
(Images: Sean Thornton / WENN.com / Buzzfeed)