Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook Recipes Will Leave You Hungry And Broke

By  | 

Gwyneth Paltrow Cookbook Signing April 3 2013

You've probably already picked up your copy, because you're not a carb-eating heathen, but just in case you are, I'm thrilled to inform you that Gwyneth Paltrow's cookbook is finally out. You know, the one that's sarcastically titled It's All Good. We've been hearing so much about it of late that I'd forgotten it wasn't even on bookshelves yet. But it is now, complete with Gwyneth Paltrow's cover photograph glaring at Paula Deen's cookbook across the Barnes & Noble aisle.

What this cookbook definitely isn't called is It's All Affordable. Because in addition to banning dairy, meat, wheat, sugar and various other delicious things (What's left? Air?), Gwyneth basically expects her loyal cookbook readers to use the “Price High to Low” feature when searching for ingredients. If you've ever wondered when that feature would be useful, cooking Gwyneth Paltrow's recipes is the answer. The ingredients will cost you an arm and a leg, if you haven't already gnawed them off in hunger.

Yahoo's Shine blog reports that a day of cooking from Gwyneth's book, using her suggested ingredients, could cost you $300. For one day! Of course, if you already have a dozen duck eggs and $25 jars of honey (Those bees are overpaid) stocked in your pantry, then lucky you! You're all set to get cooking without any added expense! You should drink your weekly Coke to celebrate.

The site estimates that buying all the suggested ingredients for a “Spanish Chopped Salad” alone will cost you almost $120, which is around what a lot of people spend on a whole week's worth of groceries. Is it too much to ask that Gwyneth make eating healthy affordable? Or at least moderately priced? Maybe $10 jars of honey? I never knew it would cost so much money to feel hungry and deprived. Isn't that, like, the opposite of logical?

Is anyone actually going to cook these recipes? Or is it purely for entertainment value? Because if it's meant to be used for practical purposes, I can't believe someone published it. I can't believe it didn't come back from the editor with one big red X and the word “NO” scribbled on the title page.

Oh Gwyneth, you never fail to fascinate and confuse me.

(Photo: FayesVision/WENN.com)