Guy Fieri Thinks The New York Times’ Takedown Of His Restaurant Was ‘Ridiculous,’ ‘So Overboard’

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Guy Fieri is crying into his goatee today in the wake of the hilariously mean takedown New York Times writer Pete Wells penned of his first New York City restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen, Bar and Torture Chamber. But while some people might laugh and admit they messed up, Guy's got his bleached hackles raised in a defensive posture, and he took to The Today Show this morning to express that.

“I just thought it was ridiculous,” he said. “I mean, I’ve read reviews. There’s good and there’s bad in the restaurant business, but that, to me, went so overboard it really seemed like there was another agenda…The tone, the sarcasm, the question style…I think we all know what's going on here, I mean, he came in with a different agenda.”

And what could that agenda possibly be?

“What he saw…I mean, to me it's impossible to come into the dining experience and have every single thing wrong unless you come in with a different agenda and you wanna sensationalize something and you wanna blow it out of the water. It's a great way to make a name for yourself, go after a celebrity chef that ‘s not a New Yorker that ‘s doing a big concept in his second month…bang what hit it?” [I'm taking my best guess at what he said in that last part.]

When the interviewer reminded him that “regular folks” on Yelp hate his restaurant too, Guy said that it's only been two months, he's not expecting to knock anyone's socks off yet, and they should check back with him at six months.

Really? Six months? He expects people to eat his “pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice” and drink his “radiator fluid and formaldehyde” cocktails for another four months, at which point they will magically become tasty? Oh, Guy.

In an effort to smack down Guy's attempts to paint him as an elitist, effete, New Yorker who just hates food “the real America” loves, Wells responded, “This is important American food that makes a lot of people very happy. And since that’s the case, you ought to do it right.” WHY ARE YOU MAKING PEOPLE SAD, GUY FIERI?

On the upside for Guy, maybe this review will have something of a Brown Bunny effect, whereby people will come from far and wide just to see if it's really as bad as everyone says. Then again, Brown Bunny had Chloe Sevigny giving someone a blowjob in it, while this restaurant has “donkey sauce” that makes you wonder “which part of the donkey [you're] supposed to think about.”

(Via Entertainment Weekly)

Still: video clip, NBC