18 Life Lessons Learned on Gossip Girl that are Total Lies

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The CW

“All that matters right now are the Four G's: Guys, Girlfriends, and Gossip Girl,” Blair Waldorf once wisely said. Any 2000s teen will admit that if they were stranded on a desert island, their complete series DVD box set would be the second must-have necessity (after their pink Razr flip phone, of course). But looking back, it's clear that Gossip Girl might not have been the ideal holy text for our still-developing sense of self, and without knowing it, we picked up a lesson or two from the CW's teen drama that was less than true.

Has it been a while since you had a good brainwashing? Jog your memory with these totally unrealistic life lessons:

1. Shopping solves every problem.

The CW

Maybe it's just me, but I can remember few episodes that didn't include at least one of the characters **cough Lily van der Woodsen cough** burying their troubles with the swipe of a credit card. We get it, the Archibalds and Waldorfs of the world can afford to splurge a little more frequently than the rest of us. But that doesn't change the fact that they taught me that retail therapy is a perfectly healthy way to cope with real-life issues. Get a bad grade on a test? Buy a new pair of shoes and forget that it ever happened. Everything's totally fine, right? Wrong.

The real lesson: Instead of distracting yourself from your troubles (and racking up a pretty significant debt while doing it), try facing them head-on. You'll feel a lot more accomplished.