Giuliana Rancic Needs Someone To Explain The Difference Between A Husband And An Infant

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This one is the husband one.

This one is the husband one.

I have to apologize, because I know Giuliana Rancic is probably not your favorite celebrity (sure, I'll use that word) to read about, and she's not my favorite one to write about, either. But that said, these quotes about her baby and her husband Bill Rancic were too good to pass up. It starts out pretty normally, with Giuliana talking to Us Weekly and giving them some tips about a healthy relationship.

“We're husband and wife, but we're also best friends, and it's funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second. That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage. So we're even stronger than we ever were before and even imagined we could be.”

Oh, perfect, as if I didn't hear enough about ‘best friends' on The Bachelor this week, now I have to hear it from Giuliana, too? What is this conspiracy? But anyway — I get what Giuliana is getting at with this quote, but the way she's phrased it sounds…dangerous. We have a child together, but sometimes we keep it locked up safe in the trunk of the car while we go on date night!” Clearly not what she's saying, but as someone in the media, I feel like she could've probably phrased it better. And yet it goes on:

“I always say to Bill, “You were my first baby,” because he was! He was my first love and my first baby and Duke is my second baby.”

Okay, no. Nice try, kooky lady, but you have one baby, and you are not married to him. If you're ever in a pinch, you should be able to tell the difference because one is five months old and the other one is forty one years old. If that continues to confuse you, ask them to pick each other up. One will succeed, and the other one won't. That one should remain pretty fail-safe for the next sixteen years or so, at which point you can buy name tags.

(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)