This Fake Fifty Shades Of Grey Trailer Makes Christian Grey Look Like A Sociopath, But At Least He’s Played By Matt Bomer

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We're still a long ways away from the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, with Emma Watson and Elizabeth Olsen both shooting down rumors that they'd play the meek Anastasia Steele, and no frontrunners in sight for Christian Grey. But thankfully, the fanbase for these books stretches back to when it was the Twilight fanfic Master of the Universe, so they've had a couple years to populate the internet with all manner of fan videos and fake trailers. We're fans of this one by Alex White especially because White presents a viable pairing: Alexis Bledel as Ana and Matt Bomer as Christian.

The trailer's not bad in terms of editing, but unfortunately there's not a shred of sexytimes. This makes sense logically, since it's easier to pull footage of Alexis looking nervous (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Post Grad) and Matt smoldering in a suit (White Collar). That said, since they're both brunettes I'm sure you could've gathered enough vague footage of two dark-haired beauties going at it to simulate Ana and Christian's lovemaking. Plus, there are plenty of movies you could pull from to just create some establishing shots of Christian's Red Room of Pain. (Moulin Rouge! and Eurotrip immediately come to mind for more campy, but setting the mood nonetheless.)

Anyway, I'm not trying to be a backseat editor. And I have to give White props for playing up the intensity of the book. Because that's actually what gets lost in all the discussion of riding crops and cruelly yanked tampons: The fact that Christian uses his money and loyal staff to basically stalk Ana. It starts out sweet that he's paying so much attention to her, but pretty soon she's constantly glancing over her shoulder to make sure that his beloved Charlie Tango helicopter doesn't have a spotlight trained on her.

I'd love to see White make a follow-up trailer — this one is only a few days old, anyway — focusing on the BDSM elements, because the casting choices are great. Except for the age, I could really see Alexis Bledel as Ana. Update: Thanks to Crushable reader caro for pointing us toward a nice'n'steamy trailer starring Matt!

One question, though: I get that Blake Lively is meant to be Ana's roommate Kate, but who is Matt Damon supposed to be?!