Everybody Better Redneckonize That Honey Boo Boo’s Mama June Is Marrying Sugar Bear Today

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Mama June At The Waterpark 1-12-13

All of my Cinco de Mayo dreams have come true and they have nothing to do with margaritas, cheesy chain restaurants, or recalling anything I learned in high school Spanish class.  Break out the sketti and get ready to toilet paper your house, y'all: Sugar Bear is finally making an honest woman out of Mama June!

Apparently Mama June and Sugar Bear met in a chat room nearly a decade ago (gotta give them credit for being AOL savvy enough to find love) and it was nothin' but love from there.  Looks like Mama and Sugie are tying the knot with Mexican Independence Day flair, complete with requests that guests wear “full redneck attire,” so I can only imagine that camoflouge is involved, and possibly a few wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirts?  I hope so.

33-year-old Mama June (here's some perspective: June Shannon and Zooey Deschanel are the same age) is also down a hundred pounds from the time Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premiered on TLC, so maybe she was feeling wedding-gown ready and decided to go for it!  Which is more than I can say for myself, as I've been on a wedding diet for 2 months and I think I'm down 1.5 lbs, but whatever. Stop making this about ME!

Crushable would like to extend the warmest congratulations, champagne wishes and sketti dreams. In all seriousness, we absolutely adore this family and I would have forgone my own wedding just to attend this one. Cheers to the happy couple, and may you bob for pig's feet together all the days of your life!

(GIF: Tumblr)