Emma Watson Will Only Play Anastasia Steele If Ryan Gosling Plays Christian Grey

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The only difference between myself and Emma Watson is that her job involves the possibility of having sex with Ryan Gosling. Other than that we're like two peas in a pod, North Dakota and South Dakota, the less conjoined version of Abby and Brittany Hensel. I think you get the idea.

In the latest casting news from Fifty Shades of Grey, Ryan Seacrest tweets that Emma Watson told him she would consider taking the role of Anastasia Steele if Ryan Gosling accepted the role of Christian Grey. In other words, she wants to dry hump him for the cameras and knows that this opportunity won't come around again.

What a wonderful life she lives! To be able to say, “I'll consider this coveted role if it involves going to third base with Ryan Gosling.” A lot of professionals can't just throw out that ultimatum. I know I can't. Nor can 90% of accountants, lawyers, doctors, astronauts and wizards.

Even though I think Ryan Seacrest sold his soul to Ursula for his career, I do believe that Emma Watson actually told him this. He gains his strength from his access to A-list celebs and pissing them off by making up quotes would not go over well for him.

So that means that Emma Watson re-entered herself into the ring of casting rumors that constantly surround the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. At this point, every actress between the ages of 18-99 are being name-dropped as possibilities for this role.

In fact, last I heard, the ghost of Amelia Earhart read for the role with Joey's woodchuck puppet from Full House. Word on the casting street is that it did not go well. And that bodes well for Emma Watson and Ryan Gosling. If I'm not the one seeing him naked, it might as well be her.

(Photo: Thomas Janssen, Pacificcoastnews.com)