Who Tied Up Emma Stone’s Stylist And Made Her Wear These Mormon Party Frocks?

By  | 

Emma Stone making surprised face GIF(via)

Does anyone have the phone number for Emma Stone‘s stylist? I just want to check in with her and make sure she hasn't been locked in a closet and imprisoned for the last few days.

I know, I know — I'm not usually this reactionary, it's just that something has clearly happened to Emma's fashion sense in the last seventy-two hours or so, and I have no idea what it is. My first thought was that someone had come and stolen the brain out of Emma's head, but then I remembered how vocal she'd been in Vogue last year about not dressing herself. Remember that? How she thought it was so hilarious that she'd been named ‘Best Dressed', since she was in no way in charge of what clothing went on her body.

So basically what this means is that Emma Stone's stylist has been invaded by a body-snatcher who's especially fond of floor-length, dowdy gowns that have been vaguely crafted on. That's the only explanation for what I'm seeing happen on Emma's The Amazing Spider Man 2 promotional tour right now. Just look at the evidence!

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield attending London premiere of The Amazing Spider Man 2 April 2014(Photo: Lexi Jones / WENN.com)

This photo was from just four days ago — and look at the bright color! The exposed arms! The cinched-in waist! Honestly she looks so great in this photo that I exclaimed aloud when I saw it. So the stylist was still alive and well at this point.

Emma Watson attending German premiere of The Amazing Spider Man 2 April 2014 full body

(Photo: Patrick Hoffmann / WENN.com)

And then this happened. What is that length? Why are her shoes golden? What's up with the shape? And most importantly — did I accidentally black out and whip this number up for one of my children's theater performances in the 1990s? Because that's what it's reminding me of.

The Amazing Spider Man 2 cast promoting movie in Berlin, Germany April 2014(Photo: Patrick Hoffmann / WENN.com)

Where are your limbs? Where are your waist? Whose flowers are those? Is that a turtleneck? So many questions.

Emma Stone attending German premiere of The Amazing Spider Man 2 April 2014(Photo: Elisabetta Villa / Stringer / Getty Images Entertainment)


Emma Stone attending Rome premiere of The Amazing Spider Man 2 April 2014 full body

(Photo: Elisabetta Villa / Stringer / Getty Image Entertainment)

And finally, look at this living doll that I have harvested for my collection! She has long sleeves and is made of delicate lace, so please be very careful when you handle her.

See you guys? Do you believe me now! Let's all make ‘FREE EMMA'S STYLIST' signs and meet down at the fountain bright and early tomorrow morning to picket.