Ellen Competes With Portia By Making Her Own Scandal-esque Show With Wanda Sykes

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Ellen DeGeneres Black and White parody October 2014

Looks like things are getting a little competitive in the de Rossi/DeGeneres household. No, they're not competing over whether a lower-case “de” or an upper-case “De” is better in a last name. They've just got two competing high-drama shows. As you might have heard, Portia de Rossi is on Scandal this season. So obviously her wife Ellen DeGeneres decided to star on a similar show. And the results are stupidly hilarious. You might think, “Oh no, if it's stupid why should I watch?” Are you kidding? Stupid stuff is the best stuff. Are you new to the Internet?

Ellen's show is called Black & White, and it stars her and Wanda Sykes as Black and White, high-powered Washington lawyers (or maybe cops — it's not very clear) who wear very professional suits with very professional shoulder pads and very professional, very enormous clip-on earrings. They take on tough cases, as evidenced by all the paper they shuffle around and how determined they are to help Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who shows up in their office with an invisible yet extremely painful gunshot wound. And before you even ask, yes there's a punny joke about Orange is the New Black. Have you so little faith in Ellen that you thought there wouldn't be?

This is why I/you/we/they/aliens love Ellen. (What? You think aliens don't love Ellen? I can guarantee they do. It's their favorite earthly export.) She recruits celebrities to do the silliest things with her, and even though you spend the whole time shaking your head thinking, “Goodness gracious this is silly,” you still laugh. Well, I laughed. I won't make assumptions about you. In any case, I think it's pretty clear who's winning in the Ellen/Portia drama-off. Sorry, Scandal fans. Olivia Pope's got nothing on Black and White. Would your faith in my taste be shattered if I told you I'd totally watch this show? Okay, I won't say so then.