Ellen’s New Commercial Just Won The Super Bowl, So We Shouldn’t Even Bother With The Game

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Ellen Beats commercial 2014

Yesterday we showed you a handful of hilarious and heartwarming Super Bowl commercials that have already leaked before the big game on Sunday night. They're great to watch early if you're not into football and/or love spoiling things for yourself. Those commercials are great and all (especially the puppy one), but prepare to fall in love with the ad Ellen DeGeneres shared with her audience for today's show. I don't even think we have to bother playing that pesky football game anymore. We've seen this commercial now, so what's the point?

The ad is for Beats Music, an app that allows you to personalize your playlists according to where you are and how you're feeling. And who better to advertise something associated with music than Ellen? She's the world's reigning dancing queen. That doesn't necessarily make her qualified to host American Idol, but this commercial is acceptable.

You'd of course expect an Ellen commercial to be pretty great, but this one is even more hopelessly adorable than I could have guessed. It starts at 57 seconds in, after Ellen introduces it. It's a modern, Ellen-y take on the classic fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” It really says a lot about Ellen's likeability that she makes me root for Goldilocks in this commercial. My abiding opinion of Goldilocks over the years has been that she's a real bitch. Get out of those bears' house, you dirty criminal. But here I'm like, hellz yeah your should use those bears' headphones and dance around their stylish apartment!

Of course, being Ellen, she didn't just tease her audience with the commercial and then move on to doing something other than giving them presents. What kind of Ellen would she be if she did that? Clearly she gives them all phones. Ellen and Oprah, both keeping themselves alive through the ear-shattering screams of materialistic women.