Ellen Flawlessly Responds To The Homophobic Pastor Who Wrote About Her ‘Gay Agenda’

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Ellen Flawlessly Responds To The Homophobic Pastor Who Wrote About Her  Gay Agenda  Ellen DeGeneres January 2015 jpg

I regret to inform you that some people in this world are ignorant, homophobic jerkwads. Like Larry Tomczak, a pastor who recently published an article in the Christian Post titled “Are You Aware of the Avalanche of Gay Programming Assaulting Your Home?” in which he says that Ellen DeGeneres is promoting a “gay agenda” on her show. Ellen saw Larry’s article and decided to respond to it on her show. And she did it with humor and heart, as we’ve come to expect from her.

Ellen says that she doesn’t usually read or comment on articles about herself, unless she needs confirmation that she’s pregnant, but she decided to address this one. In his article, Larry say Ellen “celebrates her lesbianism and ‘marriage’ in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls.” You know, just like all the straight talk show hosts are trying to recruit heterosexuals…

Ellen had a few things to say to Larry, starting with this:

“First of all, I’m not ‘married.’ I’m married. That’s all.”

BOOM. Ellen then goes on to say she doesn’t really even know how to celebrate her lesbianism, unless it involves party poppers (and don’t worry, she pulls one out).

She also talks about Larry’s objection to several other television programs and their depiction of gay characters. As she says, it seems like “Larry’s watching a lot of gay TV.” BOOM: THE SEQUEL. She also suggests that maybe Lucy and Ethel had something going on that wasn’t exactly platonic, if you know what I mean.

Ellen finishes up with this lovely sentiment:

“The only way I’m trying to influence people is to be more kind and compassionate with one another. That is the message I’m sending out. I don’t have an agenda.”

And then she makes some jokes about brainwashing us into wearing Ellen underwear. And then she dances, because that’s what Ellen does. Brrr, what an avalanche!