Just A Few Comments From Totally Sane Duggar Fans Who Don’t Believe In Women Wearing Pants

By  | 

duggar family daughters in skirts

Last month I wrote an article calling Michelle Duggar out on actively teaching her daughters to be ashamed of their bodies. On the slight chance that you didn't read everything we've published in the last month, let me catch you up. Mama Duggar went on the record on her public blog as saying that she starts telling her daughters from a young age to sit up, put their legs together and pull their skirts over their knees. Lest the devil sneak in and teach them to value their bodies for what they are and not for the fetuses they can carry. As someone who believes in raising my hypothetical daughters in an environment where they aren't ashamed of their own knees, I disagreed.

Obviously everyone on the interweb applauded what I wrote and left sincere comments commending me on my work. And by everyone, I mean no one. With the exception of a few sane normals, the comment section quickly got overtaken by Duggar family fans who accused me of being a whore enthusiast. You know, someone who prefers little girls dress like sluts instead of like god-fearing skirt-wearin' little ladies. How they came to this conclusion's pretty confusing. Especially when you remember that we live in a world where there's a whole lot of room in between raising a Duggar and raising a whore-slut-sexter. In fact, as a child who spent the majority of my early years dressed in head-to-toe Gap Kids (which did include pants and skirts and dresses and even the occasional skort), I think most parents manage to find a happy meidum.

However these people do not agree with me. These people are living in some kind of dystopian world where you have to label your child as a Duggar or a Kardashian right away. One wrong move  — ie. pantal experimentation — could ruin them FOREVER! So with no further ado, please meet the people who are currently praying for my souls and the souls of my unborn daughters. Just kidding, I doubt they're wasting their facetime with God on a heathen like me.

Duggar Cyrus 1

I'm sorry, but WHAT!? Are we really comparing girls showing their knees to boys running around with their nuts hanging out of their pants? Is that the best example? Because I would think that boy knees are just as racy as girl knees.

Duggar Cyrus 2

Okay, back up. Where are you shopping for children's shorts? Is it the underwear section? It is, isn't it?

duggar cyrus 3

Touche Glen3. I wouldn't be able to resist sending some virtual medals to a woman who's brave enough to raise cross-dressing children. Also, I am filthy. Modesty is the clinical opposite of bathing.

duggar cyrus 4

May I ask you how you pronounce your name?

Duggar cyrus 5

Premature booty shaking leads to pregnancy. Duly noted.

Duggar cyrus 6

Please point me to a time in history when parents were forced to make this choice.

Duggar cyrus 7

Because if you aren't brought up wearing skirts, you'll end up swinging around naked on a wrecking ball…with (twist) a whole brood of people who are doing THE EXACT SAME THING! The only crime worse than being a woman is being an unoriginal one.

Duggar Cyrus 10

Well on behalf of the Kardashians, thank you for apologizing.

Duggar Cyrus 9

But let me ask you, is making fun of God wrong?

Duggar Cyrus 11

To answer your question succinctly, yes.

(Photo: Duggar Family)