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It’s So Cute How The Duggar Girls Confuse Being Horny With Being Sinful

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Growing up Duggar Book Cover DaughterAnother day, another Duggar Family story that will make you roll your eyes. The eldest Duggar daughters continue to promote their new tell-all book Growing up Duggar by sharing insider family secrets about what it's like to grow up in a cult big family.  Or more accurately, what it's like to grow up in a fundamentalist Christian family that constantly uses religion as an excuse to keep their children chaste. Why? Because the only thing scarier than female sexuality is females wearing pants.

Today's quotes on Radar Online reveal that the Duggar girls do feel attraction toward men (AND NOT WOMEN! God made sure of that), but work hard every single day not to act on that attraction. Because grazing someone's arm leads to kissing someone's face which leads to trying to unhook someone's bra which leads to having to go ask Jim Bob Duggar for the combination code to unhook the bra which leads to Jim Bob Duggar telling God you've been naughty which leads to being struck down by lightening which leads to TLC having to adjust the name of the show which leads to a decline in viewership because no one knows what the fuck 18 Kids and Counting is when they see it on the TV guide.

They admit, “God has created us to have a natural physical desire toward men. When these feelings arise, we thank God for making us ‘normal.’ … But during our single years, this physical attraction, if not carefully controlled, can also be one of the biggest sources of temptation and struggles.” To avoid that, they say, they avoid spending time alone with guys because “it’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment.”

While I'm happy to hear that they're at least allowed to acknowledge that they're sexually attracted to people, it's incredibly disheartening to hear that they think acting on this attraction automatically lands them on the first bus to Hell. (And you know Hell transports their clients via bus. A bathroomless, airconditionless bus, where someone speaks loudly on their phone the entire time.) It's even more disheartening to hear that they truly believe that their impulses are out of their control. That they have to be kept away from men at all times, lest they strip off all their clothes and sexy time them. All of them. As we know from the Prude Scientists of Creationist America Society, one sexy time leads to many sexy time.

As much as I hope that writing and promoting this book leads Jessa, Jinger, Jana and Jill to realize that women are a lot more responsible than they give themselves credit for, it seems unlikely at this point. But a girl can dream that maybe one day they'll put on a pair of pants and talk to a man and realize that they're in control of their own lives.

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