New Episodes Of Duck Dynasty Will Air In January, So I Guess That Whole Suspension Thing Isn’t Real

By  | 

Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson on the cover of GQ December 2013

New episodes of Duck Dynasty airing in January will feature Phil Robertson after all, according to a source “close” to the situation at hand, so it looks like all of that “suspension” hullabaloo was mostly for show.  Granted, I'm sure these episodes were already shot and produced prior to Phil's cringe-inducing (at best) GQ interview, but it looks like A&E has no plans to postpone the airing of the show regardless of their decision to “suspend” Phil.

We've already gone into detail about the entire “Duck Dynasty controversy” (three words I know I never thought I'd be typing as the weekend editor for Crushable, but hey – it's news), so I won't bore you with my “liberal bias” and my own personal thoughts on Jesus Christ, but I will say that I'm not surprised the “suspension” appears to be a ruse just for A&E to cover their asses.  You know why?  Because A&E needs the Robertson family far more than the Robertsons need A&E.  They're quacking all the way to the bank over this, folks, and the more time everyone spends up in arms over the entire ordeal, the more dollar signs the Robertsons see.  Since I personally make it a point to never feel sorry for anyone worth approximately $400 million dollars, I don't care one way or another what A&E decides.  It's not like the network threatened to imprison him, guys.  If I made comments that didn't represent my employer the way my employer wished to be represented, I'd probably get shit-canned.  Why is this hard?  Ugh.

The only real burning question remaining for me? Well, since you asked (Thank you! You're so polite): What exact passage in the Bible is it where Jesus specifically references vaginas and anuses?  I'm just wondering.  Phil Robertson has every right to express his “faith”, and I have every right to question what his genitalia preference has to do with anything Jesus said, and A&E has every right to fake suspend him.  And the entire world has every right to judge and laugh at America for focusing on something as fucking ridiculous as the fate of a reality show above all else right now.

(Photo: GQ)