In A National Election @DrnkDianeSawyer Would Probably Beat Sober Diane Sawyer

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While we knew that someone at some point would do something wacky enough to be turned into the political inside joke of the night, we didn't guess it would be Diane Sawyer. In fact, I had all my money on Wolf Blitzer. He's such a wonderfully fascinating guy when it comes to estimating the hypothetical possibilities of projections.

But horses,  bayonets and Big Bird be damned, Diane Sawyer pulled through for us in the Parody-Twitter-Handle industry by allegedly drinking and reporting. It's all maybes and hypothetical and probably-too-good-to-be-trues right now.

And truth be told, I only found this out via Twitter. As a hopeful sister wife for Brian Williams, I planned to stick to NBC for most of the election coverage. But then when Twitter started informing me that Diane Sawyer may or may not be drunk. I may or may definitely have changed the channel right away.

While I'm nowhere near close enough to getting my Forensic Drunkness Degree to go on the record and say Diane Sawyer drank, I can say that @DrnkDianeSawyer entertained me immensely.


Even though odds say that Diane Sawyer probably didn't drink before her big night on air, I wouldn't blame her if she did. In fact I'd even applaud her! The rest of us washed the election down with alcohol, so why shouldn't Diane Sawyer join in on the fun?

And not just during election nights. I think adding a buzz to the news industry would give it the ratings boost it needs. Also it would give me a better shot of marrying Brian Williams. It's harder to resist me after a game of Depressing Evening Headlines Drinking Bingo.

(Photo: Darla Khazei, PacificCoastNews.com)