I Don’t Feel Sorry For You: Drake For Not Getting Paid For Those Terrible YOLO Shirts

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I don’t feel sorry for you Drake, for not getting money each time YOLO merchandise is sold.

If you didn't know, Drake was one of the first to use the acronym “YOLO” as a shortcut to saying “you only live once” in his song “The Motto.” And spoiler alert, his motto is YOLO.

And now apparently Drakes Cakes is getting a little annoyed that places like Walgreens and Macy’s are selling YOLO merch without cutting him a check. Or should I say “cheque” as Drake did in his Instagram. I love a man who can use French phrases in an everyday setting like Walgreens.

Drakey-poo, I’m not going to get into whether “YOLO” is even eligible for a trademark. That’s for your lawyers to worry about. I am going to get into the fact that you should be paying damages to each and every one of us who has had to endure this phrase in the past year.

YOLO is terrible. And what is worse, it's everywhere. YOLO is said in jest, it’s said in seriousness. It’s scrawled on the bottom of pictures my younger cousins post on Facebook using some sort of photo-scrawling technology I don’t understand. It’s probably on a Christmas stocking that’s still waiting to be put away right now.

It’s not that I’m against the concept underlying this super obnoxious phrase. “You only live once,” as popularized by Mae West, is a great thing to keep in mind. It teaches us to take risks, to act in the now, to live fully because life is fragile. Those are great things to remember!

The problem is that once you boil a philosophical thought into a pithy little acronym, it loses its meaning all together. Search for #yolo on Twitter and you’ll find such disparate statements as “My favorite gift is not having to worry about teen pregnancy. #yolo” and “Just fell down the stairs. #yolo.” Seriously. I just saw those two Tweets use the YOLO tag and now I don’t know which way is up.

At this point, YOLO is something we’re going to need to get over as a society, like jam pants or those few years when people kept telling you to “dance like no one was watching.” Can we just agree to get rid of YOLO once and for all while we’re thinking about it?

I don’t want to be teaching my kid her colors down the line and have to differentiate between yellow and yolo. I don’t want to be playing with that kid and have to correct her when she calls a yoyo a yolo. I don’t want to have to smack her in public if she ever correctly uses the phrase “YOLO.” So please, can we agree that in 2013 YOLO is out?

This way, Drake, you won’t continue to be ripped off by all this drugstore contraband. I won’t have to fight with my unborn daughter. And we can get back to being a society that tries to use whole words for sentences. Is that too much to ask? #yolo…. #ohno.

(Photo: WENN.com)