Disney Is Remaking The Haunted Mansion With Ryan Gosling, Because They’ve Lost Their Minds

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Disney Is Remaking The Haunted Mansion With Ryan Gosling  Because They ve Lost Their Minds Haunted Mansion gif

Remember that episode of 30 Rock where Jack Donaghy decided to “tank” NBC by greenlighting a bunch of really awful TV shows? I’m pretty sure that’s what Disney is doing to itself this year. I’ve already complained about the many live-action remakes of animated classics that the studio has announced. Now The Wrap is reporting that they’ve got a movie in the works based on the Haunted Mansion ride in Disney parks. If that sounds familiar, it’s because they already made one of those in 2003 starring Eddie Murphy.

This time around, however, Ryan Gosling is in talks to star. Yeah, that Ryan Gosling. And guess who’s set to direct it: Guillermo del Toro. His name has been thrown around in various pieces of Disney news indirectly these days since he keeps getting attached to competing versions of the same story (Beauty and the Beast, Pinocchio). If it were April Fool’s Day I don’t think I’d believe any of this. How is it possible for one of the most famous movie studios of all time to announce so many ridiculous projects in such a short period of time? HOW?

Apparently this movie has been in development since as early as 2010, and it’s being described as a “supernatural family film.” That’s pretty much exactly what the first version was, although I have a feeling del Toro will make something a little less… crappy? If he even sticks around for the whole thing, that is. (Bailing seems to be a habit of his.) But that doesn’t mean this isn’t still absolutely ridiculous. It’s bad enough that they’re making a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, plus Tomorrowland, which is based on an entire section of their park.

I’ve come up with a word to describe all of these Disney movies based on other Disney movies and/or attractions. That word is incestuous. Disney’s going Flowers in the Attic on us, and I do not feel comfortable.

(GIF: Wifflegif)