Dear Academy Awards: Anne Hathaway and James Franco? Really??

By  | 

You know, today is the first day America is getting back to work after a much anticipated long holiday weekend. And before everyone's even finished eating their cereal, we learned that Anne Hathaway and James Franco are going to be hosting the Oscars.

We're pretty sure this isn't just another meta-hoax being perpetuated by James Franco. But for reals. We have a bone to pick with the Academy. Aside from the fact that both are likely to be nominated for Academy Awards this year, there is this fact: The American public is only just coming around to liking these two again. Can't you give us some time to adjust to this state?

Ok. We get it. Anne Hathaway was pretty good in Love And Other Drugs. And she was even better as host of Saturday Night Live last week. And James Franco has tempered his weirdness for long enough to accomplish a strong performance in 127 Hours. Likely, they won't be terribly cringe inducing as Oscars hosts. But everybody just calm down.

Isn't it nice to have a somewhat impartial person up on stage as awards are being announced and handed out? At the least, we like to pretend that our hosts are  slightly different than all the actors putting on fake smiles in the audience.

Also, Anne Hathaway may be one of America's sweethearts, but she often teeters there. Does no one remember Bride Wars?

Love And Other Drugs has been open for less than a week and we're already tired of all the Anne and Jake Gyllenhaal naked jokes. Please don't perpetuate all that until February.

With Franco, it's really a minute by minute love/hate kind of thing. Oh look! He fell asleep in class at Columbia. Oh  no, just kidding, he's trying to be a serious artist. Nope, he's on General Hospital. Now he's Bisexual! Oops. Not bisexual! Frankly, any announcement from the Franco camp has a 50/50 shot at being part of a Joaquin Phoenix level hoax, and we're a little tired of it.

Yes, Anne Hathaway had a nice little cameo during Hugh Jackman's 2009 Oscar's opener. But can't we just let well enough alone?

Honestly, we only just redeveloped our fascination with Steve Martin a few months ago. And we categorically love Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. But such is the disgust that hosting the Oscars can cultivate. Why do you want to annoy everyone so much, Oscar committee? Can't you let the People's Choice Awards win in just one category?