Entertainment

Damon Wayans Thinks Cosby Accusers Are Liars, ‘Bitches,’ And ‘Unrapeable’

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Damon Wayans

Damon Wayans has officially made me throw up my breakfast, so thanks for that. On Friday morning, the comedian gave an interview to Power 105's The Breakfast Club and spewed his thoughts on a lot of topics (like how he thinks there are certain places where “cell phones shouldn't be allowed” including comedy clubs.. oookay…) and opened up a sloppy can of worms when he decided to air his grievances against the thirty-plus women who have come forward accusing Bill Cosby of sexual assault.

The interview is over a half-hour long and, frankly, not worth spending your time on this glorious Labor Day to watch, so I'll give you some of the highlights. (Note, if you're really that interested, he begins discussing Cosby at the 26-minute mark and is awkwardly given the axe after a few minutes of rambling.)

The show's co-host, Angela Yee, asks Damon what advice he'd give Bill Cosby and he vomits out:

“Tell the truth, if I was him, I would divorce my wife, wink wink, give her all my money, and then I would go do a deposition. I’d light one of them three-hour cigars. I’d have me some wine, and maybe a Quaalude, and I would just go off, because I don’t believe he was raping.”

He goes on to say:

“I believe he was in relationships with all of them and then he’s like, ‘You know what? [I’m] 78. It don’t work like that no more. I can’t get it up for any of y’all. Bye, bitches,’ and then they’re like, ‘Oh, really? Rape.’ Forty years — listen, how big is his penis that it gives you amnesia for 40 years?”

When Angela pointed out that many of the women had come forward years prior, Damon had this to say:

“But if you listen to them talk, they go, ‘Well the first time.’ The first time?! Bitch, how many times did it happen? Just listen to what they’re saying. And some of them, really, is unrapeable. I look at them and go, ‘No, he don’t want that. Get outta here!’ Look, I understand fame. I’ve lived it. Women will throw themselves at you. They just want be in your presence. There’s some that innocently will come up there, but not 40-something women. They’re not that naive.”

He also had these charming words of wisdom:

“You know what Bill Cosby did wrong? He started criticizing young black men. Then he lost us, and so we’re not supporting them. They see that opening, so you know what? Attack him, kill him. But the dude from 7th Heaven — his show is still on TV. Woody Allen is making shows and movies.”

It also should be noted that Damon and the other co-host, Charlamagne tha God, laughed quite a bit during this portion of the interview. They also tried to link the outrage to the event to social media, insinuating these things wouldn't become public fodder without Twitter, and that social media has rendered “innocent until proven guilty” useless (??). Damon also said that if any of them “truly were” raped by Bill Cosby that his heart goes out to them, but “them other bitches…”

Charlamagne tha God wondered why Bill Cosby “had” to rape anyone, and Damon said he's never had a woman feign similar accusations towards him because he “keeps his drawers on.” Charlamagne then said perhaps Cosby's wife Camille has been “drugged all these years.”

I don't even have words for this fuckery, honestly.

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