Chris Pratt Might Be Starring In The New Indiana Jones Reboot, So Cue All The Jokes About His Big Whip

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I have this theory. Basically, all of the big wigs of Hollywood gather on Sunday nights, pop some two-buck chuck from Trader Joe's, wrap on their Snuggies, play some T-Swift in the background, and read Crushable. That's the only way they could have decided that Chris Pratt would make a good Indiana Jones. After all, we suggested it first.

According to various sources, including Slash Films and Deadline, Disney execs have had Chris on their shortlist ever since they bought the rights to the Indiana Jones reboot in 2013. His rapidly growing muscles and overwhelming hotness seriously I'm basically drooling right now popularity and star power ever since his role in Guardians of the Galaxy make it pretty clear that, should these casting rumors prove true, we'll have a new Harrison Ford on our hands. If anything, his action-y and dinosaur-y role in the upcoming Jurassic World movie should prep him some for all the running and booby traps in store.

Let's all just take a minute to reflect on the glory that would be Chris Pratt as Indiana Jones. Can you even imagine how many jokes are going to be made, mostly by me, about the size of his whip? Anybody who's anybody knows how big Indy's whip is. God, now I can't stop thinking about it. Sorry not sorry, but the thirst is so real. Something to quench it, for now:

God bless the Internet.

(GIF: Perez Hilton)