Chris Hemsworth Won A Strongman Competition Last Night Because He Really Is Thor, Okay?

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Chris Hemsworth Jimmy Kimmel 2013

You might accuse me of spoiling the ending to this video by telling you that Chris Hemsworth wins the strongman competition, especially after you learn that he competes against a couple of superheroes. But when you learn that those superheroes are actually a fake Spider-Man and Captain America from Hollywood Boulevard — not even Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield or Chris Evans — you'll understand why it's not exactly a spoiler. You'll also understand that Chris Hemsworth is a real-life Thor. He just has to be.

First let me give you a little background on the video. Chris Hemsworth went on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and naturally Jimmy decided he wanted to see how Chris would fare in one of those strongman competitions they have at carnivals. You probably remember them from the time your college carnival date tried to impress you with his super strength and then failed miserably before you two awkwardly ate stale popcorn on the Ferris wheel and tried to forget about it.

Some people might say that Chris cheats a little by pulling out his trusty hammer with the unpronounceable name, but I think it just further proves that Chris is a real-life superhero walking the earth disguised as a handsome Australian actor whose brother selflessly dated Miley Cyrus as a diversion when conspiracy theorists started to suspect him. There's really no other explanation for how perfect he is. If he's just that perfect without being a superhero, everything I've learned about men from Lifetime movies just gets thrown out the window. And I think we can all agree that we don't want that to happen. I'm not ready to change my worldview quite yet.