Chris Christie Slow Jams The News, Because I Guess My Boyfriend Brian Williams Was Busy
Last night New Jersey governor Chris Christie went on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to defend his controversial decision to hold a very special election for the open senate seat this fall. For some odd reason, someone decided that he should slow jam this news. Even though his first name isn't Brian and his last name isn't Williams and his daughter did not make a cringeworthy episode of Girls cringeworthier by slow jamming a Kanye song.
Look, I get it. Everyone has to take a sick day every once in awhile. Even Brian Williams. A man who I'm pretty sure is made up of gumption, a chiseled jaw bone and that confusing trait that makes me simultaneously want to marry him and be adopted by him. And I don't hate Chris Christie. Post Hurricane Sandy, he's off my hit list. Now that doesn't mean he's on my good list, but it does mean that I'd let him treat me to lunch at Olive Garden.
It's just weird to hear someone else steal my main man's moves. I know, I know, President Obama stepped in once. But he's the president and his name's permanently affixed to the back of my laptop due to a late night decision to really support him, soooooo he gets to do whatever he wants. And yes I liked Jimmy Fallon's election/erection joke last night so I'll let it slide this time. But next time the news needs slow jamming, let's make sure to give our boyfriend Brian Williams a call first. Okay?