Let’s All Take A Minute To Applaud Chris Brown For Overcoming The Obstacles Of His Life…And Try Not To Vomit

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Chris Brown wants us all to know that he can relate to the struggle of overcoming life's toughest obstacles.  While opening up for MTV's This Is How I Made It, which airs tomorrow at noon for those of you who don't have anything better to do on a Saturday, Chris Brown explains that he no longer feels the need to apologize for his past behavior.  He says he can't hate anyone for judging him, and that all he can do is move forward and try to be a better person.

I guess the best way to get everyone to forget about what a piece of fucking shit you are is to get a tattoo of a severely beaten woman emblazoned on your neck.  Or to go the politically correct, non-attention-seeking route by  dressing up as a Muslim terrorist for Halloween.  Or to throw chairs through windows on the set of Good Morning America in an immature rage.  Or publicly cheat on your girlfriend with your old girlfriend who you used and abused mentally, physically, and emotionally.

He goes on to talk about his fan base, “Team Breezy,” and thanks them for being able to identify with him.  I guess there are a lot of people out there who can relate to violent behavior and general douchebaggery?  Don't get me wrong, when he first came out I thought he was semi-adorable, and I'm also guilty of still jamming out to Forever when my iPod cues up my “Vacuuming The House” playlist.  But after everything he's done these last few years, the mere sight of him sickens me.  There are plenty of other artists out there who don't act like psychotic cavemen that I'm okay with supporting.

From what I've read about the interview so far, the best quote Chris Brown gives just certifies his complete lack of self-awareness and total delusion regarding his life decisions:

“My story or my life or my legacy can hopefully show them that once you're down, that don't just mean you're down forever. You never let up. A lot of the negatives that we always go through, we're gonna have to get through that. It sounds crazy, but that's what makes us who we are.”

The fact that this sounds like a rip-off of a quote from The Wonder Years is secondary here.  What really gets me is that he's acting like he had some massive obstacle that unexpectedly threw itself into his life's path.  Are you fucking serious, Chris Brown?  Cancer is something people have to “get through” in the way you're describing it.  Or a paralyzing car accident.  Or the death of a parent or spouse.  Hell, even a combination crack and bath salts addiction is something people can't control after making the initial decision to try crazy drugs.  You knowingly beat the shit out of a woman in addition to an endless list of fucked up, asshole-defining behaviors.  That you were able to control.  By not doing them.  This stuff didn't just “happen” to you, Chris Brown.  You made them happen.  So pardon me while I bash the tiny violin providing the soundtrack to your words.



(Photo: WENN)