Of Course Law & Order SVU Is Doing A Rihanna And Chris Brown Episode

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Rihanna beat up law and order

Last night we got the exciting news that next week's Law & Order SVU would be all about  Rihanna and Chris Brown. While they're surely going to argue that this story's simultaneously ripped from the headlines and based on completely fictional characters, it's very clearly Rihanna and Chris Brown. Sorry Team Breezy, looks this story won't be told from your point of view.

While you should watch the promo below, here's the general gist of the aptly titled Funny Valentine episode. Two famous people are dating each other and they're very much in love. Except twist, the famous guy regularly beats up the famous girl and the SVU detectives can't figure out why she stays with him. Then another twist, the famous guy turns up dead. Cue the SVU chimes.

I'm almost embarrassed I didn't think of this idea first. Not killing Chris Brown, but making an episode about their relationship. Mostly whenever anything tragic happens, I imagine the producers at both Law & Order SVU and Lifetime high-fiving each other, opening up bottles of champagne and streaking around town in excitement. So it's weird to think that it took them so long to think up this episode.

It's also weird to think that we're condensing one of the most upsetting relationships of our time into a one-hour TV episode. As much as I hope they touch on the real effects of domestic abuse on the victims (ie. abused women go back to their boyfriends and husbands all the time for a multitude of reasons and we shouldn't see their return as a gesture of forgiveness *cough* Team Breezy *cough*), I'm a little worried that they're going to go for the shock value instead. “Chris Brown” dies in this episode, so that's what makes me feel that this won't be as much of a PSA for the reality of domestic abuse as I would like.

On the other hand, I'm sure Chris Brown will react to this news ridiculously and that's always somewhat entertaining to watch. Last time he decided his public persecution made him the Jesus of our time. So god only knows what'll he go with in his twitter-tantrum today.