Chris Brown’s Finally Cool With Beating Rihanna Up, And It’s Like What Took You So Long Buddy!?

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In an incredibly long overdue statement today, Chris Brown finally forgave himself for beating Rihanna's face into a bloody pulp before the 2009 Grammys. Which is such a relief because I've worried about him ever since that fateful night when he accidentally used his fist to pummel her face for several minutes. Look, accidents happen. Sometimes you forget to pick up milk at the store. And sometimes you almost kill people with your hands.

Who are we to judge him for a mistake he made when he was only 18-years-old. It's not until you're at least 19-and-a-half, that you start to realize that punching someone in the face isn't the best way to resolve an argument. Would you ask a baby to walk moments after being born? No. So why do people think Chris Brown should've known better at 18? Hey do me a favor real quick? Look up unfair in the dictionary. Did this photo show up?

Chris Brown Smiling Intervew

I thought it would. Despite being generous enough to forgive all his enemies shortly after it happened, people still wanted him to do more. Like make some kind of big public statement that he was not only sorry for what he did, but after lots of help, he now understood that what he did was wrong and never, ever okay. "Something to help his many young fans realize that domestic abuse is never okay," the so-called "good" people said. But did they care about Chris Brown? Did they ever once ask him if he's cool with how things went down that night. If he's ready to put this fight behind him and move on with his career? No, I can say with authority that they did not. Luckily for us, Chris Brown moved on without their approval. But can you imagine what the world would've lost if he taken any time to show remorse. The misogynistic lyrics that would've never gotten heard? Ugh, my heart hurts just thinking about it.

For so many years, like at least three, people tried to hold him back for one small murderous moment. It's not like she died. She just looked a little worse for the wear.

Rihanna after Chris Brown beat her in 2009

Ever since that incident, he's gotten punished by people with "morals" who seem to think it's their place to criticize him for savagely beating up his girlfriend. Last time I checked, there was only one God. And that God puts "dance" way above "general regard for human decency." So let all these false deities who walk around saying that he's an unrepentant sociopath put away their soapboxes.

Lest he follow through on his recent threat to retire and deprive us his talent. Then where will we be America? Stuck with musical artists who put people first and art second? I would rather die than live in a world like that.