Someone Should Tell Chris Brown That You Can’t Bring Marijuana To Rehab

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Chris Brown at Billboard Music Awards May 2013Oh Chris Brown, you never fail to amaze me with your continued dedication to being the most ignorant person in the room. Or on the planet. (Depending if Farrah Abraham is on the planet that day.)

His newest adventure in idiocy took place at his new home — rehab for anger management, also known as the only place I've ever been glad to see him. Chris was required by law to sign himself into a facility for ninety days after a progress hearing last week in the case against him for assaulting beating the shit out of Rihanna in 2009 and then continuing to beat people up every hour on the hour ever since then. Turns out that if you're in trouble for allegedly trying to murder someone with your bare hands, it's usually a good idea to stay under the radar instead of continuing to let your rage spiral out of control in public.

Originally it sounds like it was going to be a shorter stay…but Chris got so angry and violent at the first facility he was assigned to that they kicked him out after only two weeks after he attacked his mom's car. Sigh. Only Chris Brown could get himself kicked out of an anger management program.

But luckily, he now has three whole months to figure out exactly what rehab is; namely the part where you can't fly into violent rages and you can't bring your marijuana. YES HE TRIED TO DO THAT. Apparently he had no problem giving up his phone or agreeing not to get on the internet, but when they tried to take his pot, he was super confused. According to TMZ:

“Chris told staff the Mary Jane was prescribed by a doctor for a medical condition — depression —  but the staff rejected his request. We're told Chris kicked up a stink, claiming pot makes him calm, but the staff was unbending.”

Christ. That's how you act when you're calm? I didn't think it was possible, but it seems like you need this rehab stay even more than I thought.

(Photo: Elizabeth Goodenough / Apega / WENN.com)