Chris Brown And Drake: Lame Beef Or Lamest Beef?

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It's great that they're not throwing bottles at each other anymore, but the beef between Chris Brown and Drake is still the lamest thing ever. Chris just came out with a new freestyle track dissing Drake, a remix of the Chief Keef track ‘I Don't Like', meaning we're about to go passive-aggressive on this bitch. The track isn't well thought-out or catchy, but it does make use of some words I'm not supposed to say because I'm white, and some words I'm not supposed to say because I'm a lady. Regardless, it's just the next retaliation in a battle over absolutely nothing, so there's no reason this should still be an issue. Here are some of the super-classy lyrics:

“A fuck nigga, that's that shit I don't like
They throwin' bottles, I'm throwin' models, just 'cause I give a bitch long pipe
Doing shows on the soccer field
That's dome right? I be singin', he be singin', so it's on, sight
But hold up, I ain't give a nigga no green light
This head up, my bread up, one-on-one, what you scared, bruh?
Matter fact, take care bruh, you a pussy nigga
My nigga Tunechi, yeah that nigga nice
Shout out to Nicki, man that ass tight
Them eyebrows, man, them shits is yikes
OVO, you overdosed, screamin' YOLO no, I live twice.”

Boys. BOYS. Aside from that being a stupid track, what are you fighting about? Honestly. You both had sex with Rihanna. Okay great. No one's contesting that. But what is so magical about this woman's vajeen that inspires a bar fight and eyebrow insults? All that happened is you were drunk around each other and got pissed and aggressive with each other, but what are you trying to prove? What does winning here mean? If you out-rap each other, will one of you have magically not slept with her? No, because that is not how reality works. And another thing! If we're really gonna fight about Rihanna, then where was everybody three years ago when Chris Brown beat her up? These guys aren't defending her honor, they're just jerking off their own masculinity. Why don't you just both get your dicks out and put them on the table and we can really get to the bottom of this. Because that's what this really is — a dick measuring contest.

I guess I should be grateful that these two aren't getting guns and doing drive-bys on each other the way rap fights used to go down, but I'm just over it. I don't want to hear your lame ass rap retorts, I don't want to see your totally avoidable bar fight injuries, I don't care. I just don't care, so shut up. Both of you.

(Image: sofurious.com)