Just More Proof There’s A Middle School Boy Trapped Inside Chelsea Handler

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Felipe Ramales, PacificCoastNews.com

Felipe Ramales, PacificCoastNews.com

Ugh, Chelsea Handler. Why must she say the things she says!? As a female who enjoys seeing other females do well professionally, I want to like her. I want to be happy for her and for her career and for her amazing success. But she continues to behave like there's a middle school boy trapped inside of her.

And I know from some quick research on Bing that there's not. It's medically impossible to survive with a middle school boy trapped inside of you. Sorry, that's just science.

But with that in mind how can we explain why Chelsea Handler says things like this in response to Jay Leno asking her what her boyfriend got her for Valentine's Day, ““He wrote me this really beautiful book about our relationship. I mean, I don’t mean to sound gay, but it was very sweet, and I made him a scrapbook. It was just very nice. He’s a very romantic kind of guy, and I’m not that romantic, so I have to really get into the groove.”

By gay I think she meant corny or silly or girly. But that's not what she said. She said gay. Is there anything more '90s middle school than using gay to describe something that's actually not gay at all.

I mean if she'd said, “I don't mean to sound gay, but I'm a man who's sexually attracted to other men,” that would make sense. It'd be a surprising confession, but it would be a more coherent statement than the one she'd made. Is it too much to ask for that the almost 38-year-old think a little but more before she speaks. She's very smart and she's very funny and she didn't get where she is today by acting like a middle school boy. So I wish she'd keep that in mind when choosing her words.