Charlize Theron Wants Tia Mowry Banned From SoulCycle, Making This Your New Favorite Feud

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Charlize Theron Snow White none of your concern

In case you missed it, Charlize Theron and Tia Mowry are feuding. I already wasn't expecting to ever see their names in the same sentence as long as I live, unless Hollywood finally decided to make a crossover series of Sister, Sister and Monster. But I still figured it would be a one-story thing and they would go their separate ways. How wrong I was. Charlize and Tia are going to war, and their battlefield is SoulCycle (that place where people ride bikes that don't go anywhere).

Let me catch you up. A couple of weeks ago Tia Mowry told In Touch magazine that Charlize Theron was “mean” to her at SoulCycle. Apparently when Tia said hello to her, Charlize rolled her eyes and said, “Oh my God.” And Tia felt really insulted by that, because she's a celebrity too, you know! So obviously she took the opportunity to get a headline out of it. And Charlize is apparently not happy about it. According to DishNation, she's now trying to get Tia banned from SoulCycle. Here's what an “insider at SoulCycle” said about it:

“Charlize came in so pissed off after Tia went to the tabloids about her, and she demanded we bar Tia from ever coming back. When the manager refused Charlize just got angrier and said she’d go to the top to make it happen.”

Guys, Charlize Theron is taking this to the top. She won't rest until that '90s star the world barely remembers is properly punished! Charlize apparently told management that she has “zero expectation of anonymity” if Tia is around while she works out. Umm, what anonymity? You're Charlize “Statuesque Goddess” Theron. I'm pretty sure people will know it's you.

But wait! There's more! The SoulCycle employee even has an alleged quote from Charlize:

“This nobody who was famous for a minute 20 years ago can complain to the tabloids about me but I can’t expect you to protect me from hangers on in your studio?”

There is not enough popcorn in the world to accompany this level of entertainment. I don't even care if this is true or not. I've been looking for a new favorite celebrity feud, and now my prayers have been answered. #Blessed. I should really just be belting out “Let It Go” to Charlize right now, but it's just so entertaining that I don't want it to end.

To top it all off, the employee also seems to think dating Sean Penn “isn't doing her any favors,” because Charlize used to be “quiet and chill” when she came in. So apparently now even SoulCycle is on the “Ugh, why are you dating him?” boat.

(GIF: Tumblr)