Charlie Sheen Will Threaten To Sue You If You Mess With His Reputation

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Note to everyone everywhere in the world: Charlie Sheen has a reputation to maintain and you best not fuck with it.

Sheen, an actor who has never once done anything even remotely insane or disparaging to jeopardize his own career or reputation is now threatening to sue the New York strip club Cheetahs for using his name. Seems Cheetahs has a VIP room named after Sir Tiger Blood where people can pay to eat sushi off the bodies of some of the fine women who work at the establishment. Interested? Well it will set you back $250 a head if that's your thing. Not only do you get to consume food off of the near-naked women, but you also get to do it all to the beautiful backdrop of walls covered in Charlie Sheen photos. Sold yet? If that doesn't sound like the greatest Friday night ever, I don't know what does!

Despite a past that is riddled with strippers, porn stars and many call girls of the former madam Heidi Fleiss, Sheen's lawyers have sent the club a cease-and-desist letter. If Cheetahs doesn't comply, then things could get hairy for the club.

As the president of the parent company that owns Cheetahs, Sam Zherka, explained to Page Six, the room was named after Charlie a year ago. If we rack our brains as to what things were looking like for Charlie a year ago, we'll all remember that Good Time Charlie could have used some help and even career repair at that time:

“How could sushi damage Charlie Sheen’s reputation?” Zherka mused. “We thought dedicating a room to dine in his honor would help repair and elevate his image. He should have called us up and thanked us.”

See, Charlie and Mr. Fancy Lawyer? It was all done out of love and respect for the man whom many other men can only dream of being. Cheetahs has complied, removed the name because it wasn't doing as well as the club hoped anyway, and things are currently OK all around for all parties.

Sheen's lawyer, Marty Singer, wanted to make it clear that the lawsuit wasn't about Sheen's reputation, as much as it's about not being able to use a celebrity's name without permission. This is news to me. My bathroom is named Lindsay Lohan, my bookshelf is named Matt LeBlanc, and get this, Marty, my pillow is named Charlie Sheen. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, you killjoy.

(Photo: People)