If Channing Tatum Gets Named People’s Sexiest Man Alive, He’s Legally Obligated To Play Christian Grey

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If Channing Tatum Gets Named People s Sexiest Man Alive  He s Legally Obligated To Play Christian Grey Channing Tatum Magic Mike gif

Word on the street is that People will name Magic Mike star Channing Tatum 2012’s Sexiest Man Alive on November 14th. With the exception of being named into the exclusive Yelp Elite club, there’s no greater honor for a living human being.  This title not only deems Channing Tatum a knight in 78 countries, but it also makes him eligible for free shipping on any order over $50 on Amazon.com, with an added bonus that he receives 30% off on any DVD starring himself.

Yes being named People’s Sexiest Man Alive opens doors that most people don’t even know exist. (It also means you can push on doors that say pull.) But it comes with a few obligations. And not just obligations that involve laughing politely with Jay Leno on late night TV.

Turns out that the 2012 Sexiest Man Alive must not only duel the 2012 Sexiest Man Dead (rumored to be President Andrew Jackson) in a Pay-Per-View fight, but he’s also  legally obligated to play Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Yes, the casting process for that movie’s dragging on so long that producers allegedly felt that the only way to figure the whole mess out would be to cast 2012’s Sexiest Man Alive.

It’s a natural fit and it just makes so much sense. Sorry Matt Bomer, Ian Somerhalder and Billy Crystal. Looks like Channing Tatum beat you out for the part.

Better luck next time around!

(GIF: Larry Beliver)